This might only score a 5 because of your topic focus, but I think the writing itself is band 6 quality.
The power of communication technology has [had] a dramatic impact in our live[s ] and became [one of] the smartest ways to reach out [to] anyone.
TOEFL listening lectures: Which event or development did not strongly influence the history of bread?
Hello Luschen, First of all, I would like to thank you for helping me out to correct my writing.
Before the invention of a digital based communication, we patiently used to wait for couple of weeks to transmit messages to our loved ones.
However, with the introduction of technology as means of communication, we can convey messages to anywhere in the world instantly and smoothly.
However, now we can talk or send message to our friends or family in a minute or so.
Let us take an example, my grandfather used to say that my generation has everything with just a touch on devices.
When he was young, he used to wait patiently to receive love letters from his lovely wife.
So, he sometimes wished he could fly like a bird to convey his message to her.
Before the invention of [a ]couple of weeks to transmit messages to our loved ones.
However, with the introduction of technology as [a ]means of communication, we can convey messages to anywhere in the world instantly and smoothly.
Looking at how the technology has fashioned our lives[,] especially the culture of communication[,] is indeed a noteworthy.